Happy Valentines Day
This year Matt and I are not doing anything special for Valentines Day....for us. We are doing something fun as a family and did little things for our girls but did not feel the need to make it a big deal. When Avery asked if Matt was going to get me a present it got us talking about our feelings for this "holiday."
So here is why we both kind of hate Valentines Day and maybe some of you can relate. But also why our perception of this holiday may need some tweaking.
1.Cheesy and Tacky
I hate that the day after Christmas.... Valentines stuff is put up in stores. In my opinion the decorations and presents are cheesy and tacky. The gross box's of chocolates with the tacky picture of roses on the front. The teddy bears holding a heart saying something like, "you are beary special." All the hearts and lip paraphernalia. Cupid...who is supposed to be baby with wings and a bow and arrows...is well....kind of creepy. I just have never been a fan.
2. The expectations
I never really cared about flowers and candy and never really expected them. Then all of a sudden Valentines Day rolls around and now I am supposed to want them and if my husband does not give them to me then he is kind of a jerk. Well there are no flowers and chocolates on my table and I still adore my husband. He does amazing things for me everyday and goes out of his way to show me that he loves me.
After being together for almost 9 years and going through good times and our lowest of times I realize that I would choose 15 minutes of cuddle time over flowers any day. Flowers will wilt and fade and they make you feel special for a moment. It's like in high school when you only cared about having a boyfriend around valentines day because all your friends were getting flowers. You only want it because everyone else is doing it.
3. Commercialized tradition
I am not even sure of the meaning of valentines day. I feel it is very commercialized. I know the stores, adds, and TV commercials say we need to celebrate our love! The man needs to go out of his way to give his wife a special gift and the wife needs to do something special for her man. This is where is gets tricky. Men need to remember the kind of flowers that you like as well as the colors. They need to remember the kind of chocolate you like and then pour their heart out in a love letter for you and if they are really on top of their game then there is a romantic dinner where he presents you with beautiful jewelry. "Uhmmm aint nobody got time for that!"
Well that is just very romantic but seriously what guy has time to do all that. I could not even do all that for my hubby. Then as his wife I am supposed to get him something. I mean I guess I could get him some boxers with lips on them or a bear holding chocolates or we could get matching tattoos....but I know my husband and he does not want any of that. So it becomes a nice gesture that is a waste of money. We all know what they really want;)
So I sit here at my computer while my cute neighborhood girls are putting hearts on our door "heart attack" and then I realize that maybe my views on this holiday have been more about the gift giving and expectations instead of the simple things. Keep it simple stupid! It is a holiday that has been lost in translation. Instead of expecting your significant other to make a huge gesture to profess his love to you, we need to refocus and to remember those we love and to remember what we have been given and not what we don't have. I have been given an amazing husband who does so much for me. I have been given three beautiful girls who make my life special and an adventure. I have been given friends and family who go out of their way to put hearts on our door and send texts abut how much they care.
While flowers are beautiful they only last but a moment in our memories but it is the everyday actions of our loved ones that last in our hearts. Like all the times Matt has painted my toe nails and done my hair. The times he has sat with me while I cried. Brought me home my favorite treat because he saw it in the store. All the times he has taken my car to be fixed, ran out to get me more feminine products, held my purse while we shopped, tied my shoes, helped me find my phone and my purse. All the times he has rubbed my back when I am in pain, reheated my rice bags in the middle of the night and then running to Walgreen's to refill my prescription. All the times he has let me sleep in while he got the girls ready for the day.All the Disney princess movies he has watched, all the diapers he has changed. All the hours he has listened to me talk and trying to understand me. All the times he has made me feel better about myself and helped me see the good in myself. Most of all the daily I love you's and his way of making me feel more then just a mom...but His wife. These are the things that have meaning and I guess Valentines Day is a great way to remind me of all these things.